Where to begin? As a child, I only have happy memories. I was born at home in a small village in Somerset, England. We played in the woods and fields, my sister and I and the two boys who were like brothers, but lived next door. I can still rember the sounds of Cookoos in Spring, and in my minds eye, see the woodlands carpeted in blue bells. I remember swimming in the river and romping in the hay loft at the local farm. I have memories of trips to the seaside and a wonderful confection called a "Nickerbockerglory" that was served in a very tall glass, with a long handled spoon. It seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world through the eyes of a young child. I remember playing at Stonehenge, and climbing the Westbury White Horse.
We moved to a 400 year old house in town when I was about 7, and I absolutely hated school lunches. I used to run away home, and still have an aversion to tounge and liver. Is that really a healthy way to feed a child? I was the younger sister of a very beautiful young girl. They always told her how beautiful she was, and she never got tired of hearing it. I was shorter, and plainer and slightly plump, but I was the good, tidy little girl, who loved to dress up and never got dirty. I always watched, and adored my older sister, but never copied her mistakes.
At nine, we emigrated to Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and left our large, extended family behind forever. My sister never truly recovered or forgave my parents for doing what they thought was best for the future of the four of us. They both worked very hard to make sure we had the kind of life they wanted to be able to give us. We weren't spoilt, but we were also never hard done by. We had everything we needed, but those first years were lonely, and my Mother was terribly home sick, but never said so. I did well in school, but always remained the plump one. My sister blossomed into a young teenage beauty, but she was rebelious and sought to follow whoever offered the easiest, most entertaining path. She fell heavily into the drug scene all throughout high school, while I was a studios cheerleader. It's kind of strange really, I didn't fit the uniform the way the thinner girls did, but I had the heart and lungs of a lion.
I finished high school nearly a year ahead of my friends, and was already working full time when graduation came around. I had already outgrown those earlier friendships, but always regret that I didn't go to my graduation. I started Karate in my early teens, and everything was martial arts. I was the only girl in a school with a hundred guys and they protected me like I was made of glass, even though I could kick some of their butts. I worked as a Collections Agent for a Finance company, and that is where I met my first husband.
He seemed like a nice guy, but we got married way too fast and lived to regret it very soon after the nuptuals. In fact, I quite disliked my first wedding. I had already started gaining some weight before the big event, and the photos revealed a slightly heafty, but pretty little bride. We bought a hundred year old house in a small town, and tried to settle down to married life. It didn't work. Neither one of us was happy. He hid behind his buddies, and I hid behind food. 18 months later, and 50 pounds heavier, we were in divorce court, and I was still only 22.
Freedom was liberating, I took up belly dancing and lost most of the weight. I loved how I felt and looked when I wore those lovely swirls of satin and chiffon. I loved the sensuous moves and how feminine they made me feel. It's funny how a divorce has this way of somehow robbing you of your self esteem, like perhaps it was your fault that you weren't the perfect wife or companion. I moved on to body building and joined a mostly male gym. Once again I was pushing my way into a male oriented world, but this time I was made to feel like an intruder.
Eight years later, after many ups and downs and yo yo diets, I had gained and lost myself many times over, I met my second husband. Once again, I jumped in fast, and after six months we were married and on our way to Calgary, Alberta to start a new life. My parents were moving there too, as my sister and her two two daughters lived there. She was in an unhappy marriage, and six months after we moved to be nearer to her, she moved to another province.
Here I was, starting all over again. A new husband, and new home and a new job. We have both worked hard to buy our home and make a good life for ourselves. I never wanted children, so instead we have my parents and four dogs. This is how I define family. I started off as a data entry clerk and have worked my way up to the Finance Manager, running two branches of our Canadian Operations. I considered myself a successful woman, but when I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I was seeing. I felt like I just wanted to stop the ride and say...I want to get off. Things were good, but this was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to look in the mirror and see the person I just knew was supposed to be there.
My weight has fluctuated so much in the last twenty years, but since I went into menopause at 39 the weight just seemed to keep adding and adding a little more each year. When I first saw Paul McKenna's show "I Can Make You Thin" being advertised on television, I got really excited. I have tried every diet, pill and piece of equipment known to man (woman) kind. This was different, and somehow, I just felt that it was going to work. I waited with great anticipation, and followed each show very carefully. It really does work, as those of you who are following the program can testify to. I don't always follow the four golden rules as I should, but I don't feel guilty as I know I can always start again tomorrow and I can get right back on track.
It has been a slow process for me, but I am not disappointed that I am not losing as fast as some. I fully understand that each of our bodies work differently, and weight loss is an individual thing. One of the greatest benefits has been how wonderful it makes me feel. I look and feel better than I have in at least 10 years, and at 51, I feel healthier and more confident than I have ever felt in my entire adult life. I look in the mirror, and see that strong, confident woman in a body that I'm no longer ashamed of. I am still on the journey, and who knows where it may lead, but I am better than ever.
Amanda
We moved to a 400 year old house in town when I was about 7, and I absolutely hated school lunches. I used to run away home, and still have an aversion to tounge and liver. Is that really a healthy way to feed a child? I was the younger sister of a very beautiful young girl. They always told her how beautiful she was, and she never got tired of hearing it. I was shorter, and plainer and slightly plump, but I was the good, tidy little girl, who loved to dress up and never got dirty. I always watched, and adored my older sister, but never copied her mistakes.
At nine, we emigrated to Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and left our large, extended family behind forever. My sister never truly recovered or forgave my parents for doing what they thought was best for the future of the four of us. They both worked very hard to make sure we had the kind of life they wanted to be able to give us. We weren't spoilt, but we were also never hard done by. We had everything we needed, but those first years were lonely, and my Mother was terribly home sick, but never said so. I did well in school, but always remained the plump one. My sister blossomed into a young teenage beauty, but she was rebelious and sought to follow whoever offered the easiest, most entertaining path. She fell heavily into the drug scene all throughout high school, while I was a studios cheerleader. It's kind of strange really, I didn't fit the uniform the way the thinner girls did, but I had the heart and lungs of a lion.
I finished high school nearly a year ahead of my friends, and was already working full time when graduation came around. I had already outgrown those earlier friendships, but always regret that I didn't go to my graduation. I started Karate in my early teens, and everything was martial arts. I was the only girl in a school with a hundred guys and they protected me like I was made of glass, even though I could kick some of their butts. I worked as a Collections Agent for a Finance company, and that is where I met my first husband.
He seemed like a nice guy, but we got married way too fast and lived to regret it very soon after the nuptuals. In fact, I quite disliked my first wedding. I had already started gaining some weight before the big event, and the photos revealed a slightly heafty, but pretty little bride. We bought a hundred year old house in a small town, and tried to settle down to married life. It didn't work. Neither one of us was happy. He hid behind his buddies, and I hid behind food. 18 months later, and 50 pounds heavier, we were in divorce court, and I was still only 22.
Freedom was liberating, I took up belly dancing and lost most of the weight. I loved how I felt and looked when I wore those lovely swirls of satin and chiffon. I loved the sensuous moves and how feminine they made me feel. It's funny how a divorce has this way of somehow robbing you of your self esteem, like perhaps it was your fault that you weren't the perfect wife or companion. I moved on to body building and joined a mostly male gym. Once again I was pushing my way into a male oriented world, but this time I was made to feel like an intruder.
Eight years later, after many ups and downs and yo yo diets, I had gained and lost myself many times over, I met my second husband. Once again, I jumped in fast, and after six months we were married and on our way to Calgary, Alberta to start a new life. My parents were moving there too, as my sister and her two two daughters lived there. She was in an unhappy marriage, and six months after we moved to be nearer to her, she moved to another province.
Here I was, starting all over again. A new husband, and new home and a new job. We have both worked hard to buy our home and make a good life for ourselves. I never wanted children, so instead we have my parents and four dogs. This is how I define family. I started off as a data entry clerk and have worked my way up to the Finance Manager, running two branches of our Canadian Operations. I considered myself a successful woman, but when I looked in the mirror, I didn't like what I was seeing. I felt like I just wanted to stop the ride and say...I want to get off. Things were good, but this was not who I wanted to be. I wanted to look in the mirror and see the person I just knew was supposed to be there.
My weight has fluctuated so much in the last twenty years, but since I went into menopause at 39 the weight just seemed to keep adding and adding a little more each year. When I first saw Paul McKenna's show "I Can Make You Thin" being advertised on television, I got really excited. I have tried every diet, pill and piece of equipment known to man (woman) kind. This was different, and somehow, I just felt that it was going to work. I waited with great anticipation, and followed each show very carefully. It really does work, as those of you who are following the program can testify to. I don't always follow the four golden rules as I should, but I don't feel guilty as I know I can always start again tomorrow and I can get right back on track.
It has been a slow process for me, but I am not disappointed that I am not losing as fast as some. I fully understand that each of our bodies work differently, and weight loss is an individual thing. One of the greatest benefits has been how wonderful it makes me feel. I look and feel better than I have in at least 10 years, and at 51, I feel healthier and more confident than I have ever felt in my entire adult life. I look in the mirror, and see that strong, confident woman in a body that I'm no longer ashamed of. I am still on the journey, and who knows where it may lead, but I am better than ever.
Amanda
